The Truth: You Can't Handle It?

In my Poetry as Genre class on Tuesday, we started to discuss the nature of confessionalism in poetry, and after class, the professor sent out an email with a few provoking questions on the topic of "truth."

"If you haven't already, you should begin analyzing-on your own time-the nature of 'confession'; the natureof "truth" and why it is often perceived as a "bad thing"; why-against all logical and rational thought one would prefer hearing lies. What exactly is it that makes "truth" so ugly and scary? Why are the bearers of truth so often ostracized, ridiculed, or worse...killed? If art is open to interpretation (and poetry is art), why are confessionalist poems heralded as "truth"? Does this imply that confession is not art, that 'truth' is NOT subjective? That there is, in fact, one truth and we all recognize it-we may not like it or accept it, but we do recognize it? Hmmmmmmmm, fascinating, no? I wonder what some of my lesser-known friends* think:
"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered;the point is to discover them."
(Galileo)
"Falsehood is easy, truth so difficult." (George Eliot)
"The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." (Gloria Steinem)
"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie-- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent,persuasive and unrealistic." (John F. Kennedy)
*Professor Newton has a wonderful biting sense of humor. So no, it's not a misprint.

He brings up some, to use his words, "fascinating" points. Truth is such a fearful thing in our lives--yet, its sought. We begrudge others when they lie to us, and yet, we're often afraid to tell the truth to other people. And if someone is "too" truthful--that's a major turn off. How many of us have been on a first date, for example, where the person across from us tells us their life story? This is becoming standard. We want the most gruesome accuracy from the news. Any veiling is declared deceptive! And tact is becoming a thing of the past...of course there are exceptions. And what is tact, really, anyway? There are so many things we are afraid to say, to express. Who or what has instilled in us this fear of what may be actual fact? There are the obvious fears--truths about sex, cultures, knowledge, etc... but what about truths about ourselves? Other people?

Recently, I've recognized in myself an annoying quality--I'm too open. I'm not saying that as one of those "worst qualities that's really a best quality," because I don't think its necessarily a good thing--in this world, that is. To use a personal example, I recently emailed an old crush/friend and after some brief small talk, I cut right to the chase, expressing what I suppose one could call the "truth" of my feelings. But after I wrote and sent said email, I wished I hadn't. Not because I had lied--I hadn't. But I felt like I had done something worse--vomited on the paper. Made a mountain out of a mole-hill--in this instance, I honestly think I probably should have kept my "truths" to myself, to make both party's lives easier. No one wants to read the truth to that extent. Or do they? Do I? Am I wrong here?

I know, personally, that when I don't tell the truth, I feel awful. I was brought up under the rule that everyone *deserves* to be told the truth. That, and it's a Christian value, but I think it's really just a people value. But...does everyone "deserve" the truth? Where did that idea come from? We, as people, feel entitled to it, but only on our own terms. We want the truth when we want it, but not before or after. I want the truth from this person, so I demand it. And then they share the truth with me...and I resent it. How dare they do that to me! How dare they feel that way! Did they have tell me those things in "that" way? ... what way? The frank, blunt way? I suppose that hurts us, doesn't it? I mean, I know it hurts me. But then again, wouldn't I rather have that than the sugar-coated bullshit we exchange as greeting card currency these days?

When told the truth, I feel almost obligated to bare my soul in return, which perhaps is what makes truth so appealing and unappealing simultaneously. Especially when someone says, "I like you," what are you supposed to say? I know I feel entitled to say some expected apologetic phrases, such as, "I'm really flattered, but I don't feel similarly..." etc. Because, God forbid, a person couldn't just say (in a different or similar scenario)-- "Well, I've known you liked me for awhile, and I think of you often, and I think you'd be really good in bed, but I don't see it going any farther than that..." or even, "I think you're immature," "You need to get a real job first," "I don't find you attractive," "I don't agree with your politics and that's a huge turn off," "I just don't feel like it," or "I find you creepy." Any of these are rather...blunt. If I looked at someone and said simply, "I just don't like you," would that make my life easier or harder? How about theirs? What about their/my feelings? Are we/they as fragile as we/they think we/they are/aren't? And might that fragileness or perceived fragility be the direct result of all this tiptoing around one another?

To take it back to Newton (Lee, that is) and his questions--is truth subjective? Especially regarding feelings? When we change our minds, were we "lying" before? And if it can change so readily, can we even call it "truth"? I am someone who, to use the old adage, "wears her heart on her sleeve." I've developed a habit of being very blatant regarding feelings, especially regarding romantic situations. Instead of going through the whole "do they like me, I like them? how will they know? will they tell me? they touched my arm, what does that mean?" danceroo, in my last few whatever-they-weres, I just simply stated it--I like you. I'm not saying it was easy. And I'm not saying it was the right thing. I think it may have cut some things off from developing over time--but then, did I just save both people time with my frankness? Or did I jump the gun? Should I have waited it out, jr. high school style? Is this practice of mine more mature, or less? I think a case could be made for either.

I think there's got to be a balance. (As strange as that may sound, for after all, why must there be rules on truth?) Truth is something people do deserve, but don't need to be attacked or hounded with. I think my habit of baring my soul is fine in certain cases, but not all.

On the same line, what's so wrong with that? By telling myself there must be a balance, am I simply fitting myself into a societal construct for what we as people can handle, or think we should handle?

Pause. Discuss.