Sore heart?

I feel both wonderful and awful at the same time. They're sort of canceling each other out, so I'm in a rather bizarre state.

I woke up this morning with what could actually be described as my heart hurting, and I'm not speaking medically. Nothing is really wrong, just last night I did some stand up in downtown BNL, (which went wonderfully, everyone was very positive and heartily laughed) but it was a bit trippy memory lane style. Some people I went to High School with were there, and that wasn't a bad thing at all--but it just sent me back. And especially since lately I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my whole "cool inferiority complex" (it's a thing... I've realized that there are certain aspects in the women I get very attracted to--I think they're "cool"-er than me, they've got a sort of elitist posh--they're quirky, but edgy and charmy and... well, they sort of embody my definition of cool, the completely woman. I'm usually really wrong, and they're just a human like myself, but like I said... it's a whole insecure personal issues thing.) and so being in a sort of post high school environment was rather trippy. And then I just had a whole bunch of dreams about an assortment (seriously, we're talking multiple) people. Not to mention my ex step mom tried to friend me on facebook, and well... not a fan of that.

I just want to heal from everything, cut my losses, and move forward.

But it's never that clean or bloodless or simple, is it?

Well... today should be good, at least. Seeing many friends. And by many, I mean 2 or 3. But for me, that's plenty :)